DRESS YOUR RAGE
Collect Tears.
Spread Freedom.
Our First-Ever Tears of the Left Merch Drop Is Here! Wear the cap. Pour the bourbon. Stick the stickers somewhere inappropriate. Send a card to someone who desperately needs one. This is more than merch. It’s a piece of Tears history.
2x Engraved Whiskey Glasses
Listen… We know that if you’re drinking Tears of the Left, you are a person of class and fine quality. So, if you’re going to enjoy a premium whiskey, do us a favor and drink it from the appropriate vessel.
Two heavyweight whiskey glasses, engraved with the Tears of the Left crest and designed for the most important ritual of all: pouring a great American bourbon.
Listen… We know that if you’re drinking Tears of the Left, you are a person of class and fine quality. So, if you’re going to enjoy a premium whiskey, do us a favor and drink it from the appropriate vessel.
Two heavyweight whiskey glasses, engraved with the Tears of the Left crest and designed for the most important ritual of all: pouring a great American bourbon.
$24.99
Baseball Cap
Does the sun have you tearing up? Hold on to your glass of bourbon, because there’s a new lid in town, and this one’s not a red trucker hat!
If you want to show off your conservative pride, but still make a tasteful impression, check out the official Tears of the Left Baseball Cap!
Does the sun have you tearing up? Hold on to your glass of bourbon, because there’s a new lid in town, and this one’s not a red trucker hat!
If you want to show off your conservative pride, but still make a tasteful impression, check out the official Tears of the Left Baseball Cap!
$14.99
10 Greeting Cards
Hallmark would NEVER! Introducing the first-ever Tears greeting card collection. Birthdays, holidays, election nights and every other occasion that calls for a little emotional damage.
For the friends who get it, the enemies who don’t, and the relative who’ll need a safe space after opening it.
Hallmark would NEVER! Introducing the first-ever Tears greeting card collection. Birthdays, holidays, election nights and every other occasion that calls for a little emotional damage.
For the friends who get it, the enemies who don’t, and the relative who’ll need a safe space after opening it.
$14.99
10 Stickers
The ones your HOA warned you about… perfect for slapping on that annoying neighbor's car!
Ten little pieces of Tears history. Our first-ever sticker collection brings together the greatest hits from the Tears universe, built for bumpers, water bottles, laptops, coolers, gun safes, office kitchens, and every surface in need of improvement. Applies in seconds. Offends for years.
The ones your HOA warned you about… perfect for slapping on that annoying neighbor's car!
Ten little pieces of Tears history. Our first-ever sticker collection brings together the greatest hits from the Tears universe, built for bumpers, water bottles, laptops, coolers, gun safes, office kitchens, and every surface in need of improvement. Applies in seconds. Offends for years.
$14.99
Limited Edition Merch Bundle
Cheers Bundle
Description:
Because misery loves company, and nothing says "I respect your terrible life choices" like matching glassware. Two engraved whiskey glasses, one premium bottle, and an implicit agreement that you're both in this together.
Perfect for: that one friend who actually listens, your co-conspirator in bad decisions, or the only person at Thanksgiving who understands.
Warning: May cause honest conversations. Possible side effect: actual human connection. Not responsible for hangovers or the bonds you'll form over shared disappointment.
Bundle Contains:
- 1 Bottle of Tears of the Left™ Kentucky Bourbon 750ml
- 2 Tears of the Left Bourbon Glasses
- 1 Greeting Card Pack (10pcs)
$126.99
$79.99
Limited Edition Merch Bundle
Party Bundle
Description:
Show up to literally any social gathering outfitted for success. Cap on (controversial opinions at the ready), stickers in your bag (subversive propaganda), greeting cards in hand (passive-aggressive apologies). One bottle of our smoothest bourbon to make the whole thing tolerable. This is the bundle for people who don't just attend parties—they weaponize them.
Warning: May result in you becoming the most memorable guest. Possibly not in a good way. Moderately likely to end friendships. Guaranteed to spark at least 3 arguments before dessert.
Bundle Contains:
- 1 Bottle of Tears of the Left™ Kentucky Bourbon 750ml
- 1 Tears of the Left Hat
- 1 Greeting Card Pack (10pcs)
- 1 Sticker Pack (10pcs)
$126.99
$79.99
Limited Edition Merch Bundle
Mega Bundle
Description:
Why choose when you can have the whole damn thing? The Mega Bundle brings together everything from our first-ever merch drop with a bottle of Tears of the Left Kentucky Bourbon to wash it all down. Hat on your head. Bourbon in your glass. Stickers where they shouldn't be. Greeting cards ready for friends, enemies and complicated family relationships.
Perfect for: the Tears completist, the chronically difficult to buy for, or anyone who looked at the other bundles and thought, "Yeah, but where's the rest of it?"
Warning: May cause excessive Tears ownership, inappropriate gifting, unsolicited political conversations, and the sudden realization that moderation is wildly overrated.
Bundle Contains:
- 1 Bottle of Tears of the Left™ Kentucky Bourbon 750ml
- 4 Tears of the Left Bourbon Glasses
- 1 Tears of the Left Hat
- 1 Greeting Card Pack (10pcs)
- 1 Sticker Pack (10pcs)
$204.99
$139.99
